| | What is love? (Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more)
Lately I've been giving thought on who is important in my life. I credit a lot of people, but it's those who I haven't known in my 22 years that I owe a lot to. It hasn't been long, but the familiarity is already there. Of course I owe my family for being there for me, but they're family and will always be there. To those who haven't been with my all my life, you never know if they're going to go another way or not. That's what I fear in life after making a great relationship with someone. I look back on this year and look at the friends I've made. I'm saddened by many, but I'm more happy with the few who have stuck with me regardless of happenings. It's those people I thank for me being here right now.
I'm not special, I'm not the smartest guy in the world, and I'm not exactly the most social person. When someone says they need me, I'm glad to help. When someone says they talk about me to their friends and family, I feel happy being recognized. When someone gives me unconditional love ... how else am I supposed to feel?
I'm content with the friends I have because they care about me and I care about them. I love them dammit. I may have stronger feelings for some, but the love is all the same.
This brings me to something else: why do I still feel lonely? I would say that it's because none of these friends can be with me physically, or can't be near me due to the distance we are from each other. Is it that? There's always that distance barrier between us, even to my closest of friends. I don't like it, but it can't be helped. If I could be with any of my friends (if they'd have me) I would be there in a heartbeat. I don't get to hang out with anyone much, other than my own dad, my cousins and Nenn (which can't be done T_T thanks for moving to San Diego :P), so I don't really go out much. And heck if I'm going to go out by myself. I mean..that kinda sucks. >.>
Ah, I don't know. I'm losing my train of thought here. I'm happy with the people I know, and I know they're happy with me.
And dammit, I love you all. And I hope you all love me ...
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| | Posted 10/5/2007 6:51 AM - 13 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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